Stretched Wide Butthurt In Video Games.

Meet The Kids Who Just Quick-Scoped You….Again.

Imagine a world with no rules.
A gun-law free world.
A world populated by little children wielding said guns.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... every major shooting game on the market.

Let it be know that Eman doesn't hate kids. I actually have to live with the little demons in my house. I only have a problem when video games and minors are mixed. The two entities should remain separate. Like church and state.

Now, with that being said if I’m playing a certain game and 4 foot nothing midgets are whining over a mike, past their bedtime at me, I believe verbally smacking them is indeed my right of way.

Apparently parents think M stands for “Many Kids Playing This”

Pop quiz: what is the picture above?
If you don’t know, you probably also don’t know that your kid: smokes weed, masterbates to your porn collection, and is a closet-homosexual. Proven facts.

The above picture is called ESRB game ratings and they were made to keep you grubby kid’s fingers from touching anything more mature than his age. If you start giving your 10-year old kid violent videos and then become surprised when he shoots up his middle school, then i don’t feel sorry for you dumb-fuck.

This…

Plus This….

Equals This In 10 Years…

Lastly, I want to discuss under-aged minors when they pick up a mike and take their time-out angst online.

Bottom-line?

Don’t let it happen and start to beat your children more people.

Take care.

Halo 4: Next big hit, or next Halo: Reach?

Halo has been one of the most fun video games I have ever played. I myself am a Sonic fan, but when it comes to shooting things in the face, Halo is the way to go! This gaming series takes place in a futuristic setting which allows the player to wield an arsenal of powerful weapons in which take on the formidable covenant. The covenant is an alliance of many different alien species that are lead by three unique creatures known only as the prophets. The prophets have led their army to believe that their genocidal campaign is for the greater good of this incredible journey. Once the covenant came into contact with the human race, however, they were in for the fight of the century. As many of us know, humans wage war a lot, it's what we do. It's in our nature. When they picked a fight with us, they picked a fight with the combined power and intellect of all nations on the planet. Since it's about 500 years into the future, our technology has advanced to the point where we've colonized other planets.

Bring it on covenant.

Art work for upcoming Halo 4

So far, Halo has six installments and is currently in the process of releasing their seventh, Halo 4. The first six Halos have been made by Bungie, but Bungie has grown tired of the project and wished to move on to others. I can't blame them, if they don't want to make any more Halos then they don't have to, but Halo 4 is being made by a division of Bungie who decided to keep the legacy going. This group is known as 343. A lot of Halo fans were disappointed to hear that Bungie gave up on Halo, but saw a glimmer of hope once Halo 4 was announced. Some believe Halo 4 will be a failure, but based on the game play I've seen, it looks amazing. It may not be made by Bungie, but it may still be a great game.

Overview

The story of Halo follows Master Chief, the man in green armor who is pretty much humanity's savior. In order for the humans to survive the covenant onslaught, the intelligent Dr. Halsey developed the Spartan project. With the help of the UNSC, the United Nations Space Command, she was able to develop the super soldiers known as Spartans. The entire army of Spartans was wiped out except for Master Chief. The Spartan army gave their lives to protect Reach, but failed. Being the only, and possibly, the best Spartan left in existence, Master Chief is the best hope for humanity's survival. As a Spartan you're able to take on covenant infantry on their level. Your strength and health is above that of your fellow marines. You will be depended on to do what others would not, which makes it much more fun if you ask me. You're also able to switch weapons with marines. Your armor's energy shielding will protect you from most of the enemy fire. 

The physics and plot of this storyline follows over through all of the games in the series, making it an excellent buy for science fiction or space fans.

Which begs the question."Will Halo 4 live up to the hype, or become another Halo: Reach?"

Hopefully in the seventh installment, Halo 4, players will still be able to enjoy the classic experience that was brought about in the first three, bringing new experiences while building upon the old ones. Halo 4 carries a large expectation that we can only hope will be fulfilled with interest...If not, Halo is still a classic gaming series I would strongly advise for anyone who enjoys playing video games.

Now, we wait.

11-6-2012

The Life and Times of Naruto: Ultimate Ninja

With the ever popular Naruto manga continuing steadily at chapter 597, there have been a number of games to follow suit.  I mean, who doesn't like relaxing and beating up children with old ladies (or beating up the old lady, if that's more your thing...seriously, you can.)  With the great number of video game adaptations, ranging from games for the Nintendo DS, PSP, to the PS3 and Xbox 360, my FAVORITE series by far, is Ultimate Ninja.   

Gameplay from Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2

The first in the series to be released was for the PS2.  It was in the classic side scrolling, 2D type environment most fighting games are produced in.  Featuring characters from the original run of Naruto, or Part 1, it was a GREAT game.  This continued up until Ultimate Ninja 5, released in 2007.  Now, these are good games, but enter....

PS3 box art for Ultimate Ninja Storm

In 2008, they breathed new life into the series, with the release on Ultimate Ninja Storm.  This game didn't only come with a new name and a shiny new cover, it brought new aspects and new elements to the game to really immerse the player.  The biggest element introduced, is the 3D environment.  The player can take full control of the character within this area.  With this addition, this allowed players to run in any direction, jump around, and even dash to an enemy, or stay back and play at a distance.  The maps themselves, were also beautiful.  Not to mention the character line-up.  Stocked with a full roster of characters from Part 1, you could re-enact some of your favorite battles.  The story mode was great as well, featuring a fully explorable Konoha.  Playing as the number one knuckle headed ninja himself, it was pretty fun to explore around.  Though, this story mode could get repetitive pretty fast.  Over all, this game just had it.  
My score - 8/10.

Box art for Ultimate Ninja Storm 2

Newest addition, Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations.

Exploration in Ultimate Ninja Storm 2.

With the overall success of Ultimate Ninja Storm, two sequels were inspired.  The first was, of course, Ultimate Ninja Storm 2.  Being the first Naruto game to be released on both PS3 and Xbox 360, this Naruto game just improved on what was already great.  Covering a big portion of Part 2 of Naruto, or Shippuden, it spans from the return of Naruto all the way to the Pain Invasion.  New features were added, as well as a FULL roster of new characters.  We saw improved graphics, and the introduction of an RPG element.  That did, however, cut down the free roaming aspect from the first game.  While you can no longer explore Konoha completely, they do offer a very linear path based exploration allowing you to navigate between different areas by following a small map.  They did add the ability to find and use things throughout the story mode, such as picking up a flower on the ground, or old kunai out of a chest, or old tags out of some paper.  The story mode, though, did feature an abundance of new cinematic boss battles appearing as if they were taken straight out of the anime itself.  These cinematic scenes really immersed you into the story.  
My score - 8/10.

Jiraiya in a battle with Pain

Naruto vs. Sasuke

Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 art

  After Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 was released in 2010, a spin-off entitled Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations found it's way to the shelves in 2012.  This game was released to hold us fans off until the upcoming release of Ultimate Ninja Storm 3, in Spring 2013.  Now, Generations had fans split down the middle at word of it's announcement.  One half of the fans were ecstatic about it's adding characters from both Parts 1 and 2, however, the other half were weary about the new features they'd heard about.  One rumor they had heard about, was the removal of movement in story mode.  Unfortunately, that turned out to be true.  In Generations the story mode from the previous two received a drastic change.  The option to explore and attain items had been removed, as well as boss battles.  In change, we got multiple story lines in which you could play for different characters.  It was a series of fights, separated by anime sequences and voiced scenes.  The anime scenes were very well done, though.  They were completely new, never before seen animations created specifically for the game, featuring the majority of the original voice cast.  It was a very artistic way to have done things, though I would liked to have seen the exploration option stay.  Does that mean I was disappointed by this game? 

Not.at.all.

Japanese character selection game play

 The stocked full roster of characters was more than enough to make up for that.  This roster of ninjas featured Genin, Jonin to Hokage after Hokage spanning the length of Part 1-2.  We even saw characters such as all four Hokages, The elusive Masked Man, Akatsuki, and even Part 1 characters such as the original 12 Genin and the sand siblings.  Even the five Kages made an appearance.  With this full roster of characters featuring over 72 playable characters and 15 supports, even though it's more like 40-50 considering most are just alternate costumes/jutsus, who can complain?  They also upgraded the fighting system considerably making it faster paced, and adding such features as the ability to chakra dash in and out of combos, and limiting substitutions to 4 for a limited time period.

Game play of Japanese version in Tournament mode

(Thank God for that. Seriously.)

Two new modes were added that made this game all the more fun.  They are survival, which allows the player to test his ability against a wave of ninja with one health bar for the whole wave, with health being restored by amounts dependent on how well you did after each fight.  The other that was added is tournament, which as the name suggests, is a tournament.  In this mode players can set up a roster of ninja to fight, or play against a pre made roster.  This roster features preliminaries, semi-finals, and finals with the winners of the previous match facing off in the next round.  With all these new modes, and the numerous amount of characters, this game is just too great not to love.  Especially with the new features implemented in this game, the fights are so much fun.  Except online.  Expect broken TV's and controllers if you take that route.  Fair warning.  Overall, Generations is a great game I highly recommend buying if you are a Naruto fan or even if you aren't a fan.  It's such an easy game to get into, and really user friendly.  My score - 9/10.

With the success of all the Ultimate Ninja Storm games in the past, it makes me really wonder how Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 will be.  I am definitely looking forward to the next sequel with high expectations.  I just hope that this doesn't turn into a Halo: Reach.

So, overall, if you are a Naruto fan, a fan of fighting games, a fan of anime, a fan of ninjas, or even just a fan of games in general, I recommend this series to everyone with a game system.  This has to be one of my favorite series of all times, and with luck it will just keep getting better.

That's it for this time.
sayonara, mina-san.